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ב"ה

What is your fear?

Friday, 20 December, 2024 - 5:18 am

I sat across from a professional in the field of coaching, a seasoned expert in various types of coaching. In recent years, he has been offering courses and regular sessions for religious and ultra-Orthodox individuals, primarily older yeshiva students. During our conversation, he shared that one of the challenges requiring significant investment on his part is dealing with the fear prevalent among religious and ultra-Orthodox individuals, particularly yeshiva students. Fear of punishment, fear of a punitive God, fear of hell. Perhaps we would refer to it as "awe"? But for him, it manifests as a mix between fear and anxiety, which strongly drives and even governs the people he encounters.

He has a planned session with Chabad yeshiva students, and during our meeting, he half-jokingly asked me, "What is your fear? How does the anxiety of Chabadniks manifest?"  

I paused for a moment to look inward, to examine myself. I also reflected on the many encounters I’ve had and continue to have daily with Chabadniks who come to me for coaching, and the answer became quite clear to me. I cannot say what the spiritual fears of others might be, but I can state almost with certainty that the spiritual fear of Chabadniks is not of punishment, nor of hell—which I have never even heard mentioned during my nine years in Chabad yeshivas. The fear I know, from myself and from my Chabad peers, is the fear of insincerity. The fear of being false. There is a genuine anxiety about not being authentic. (I'm not suggesting this is unique to Chabadniks; I haven’t conducted any research.)  

Externally, through the publications we excel—sometimes excessively—at producing, it might look different. But I am speaking about the inner world, the one I encounter on Zoom. There, people bare their hearts, and you see how deeply it affects them when they detect even a hint of falsehood within themselves. Just this week, a Chabad emissary confided in me: "I need to lead a farbrengen on Yud-Tes Kislev. How can I sit there and speak when I myself am unworthy of being called a Chassid?" He *is* worthy; it’s just that he feels otherwise, which is why we meet.  

And the ultimate question they ask themselves is always: How can I come before the Rebbe like this, as I am?

Perhaps this reflects one of the most powerful contributions of the Alter Rebbe, whose day of redemption we celebrate today—Yud-Tes Kislev, the Rosh Hashana of Chassidus.  

Perhaps it’s the foundation of the term *Tamim* (sincere one), coined by the Rebbe Rashab to describe Chabad yeshiva students.  

But don’t think this is a simple process. Genuine self-examination is neither easy, nor pleasant, nor free of pain.  

The Alter Rebbe, in my view, calls upon us to know the truth—our own truth—but not just the negative aspects, not just our deficiencies. He asks us to recognize the entirety of our truth, including our virtues.  

Perhaps, as it says in the *Hayom Yom* of 26th MarCheshvan: "The true path is to know one’s essence, with a genuine recognition of both one’s deficiencies and one’s virtues."  


Gut Yom Tov, 

Shabbat Shalom, 

Rabbi Zalman Wishedski  

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