If you speak to people who have succeeded, people we define as a success story in any field, whether financial or otherwise, and ask them what was the pivotal moment that propelled them forward, what was the key turning point that drove them to commit fully until they eventually became a success story, in most if not all cases, they will speak about a moment of crisis. About a mistake, a fall, a high cost—whether emotional, mental, financial, or all of these together—that was paid, sometimes even external difficulties from people who didn't appreciate or believe in them. And from there, because of the cost, the pain, the struggle, or all of it combined, growth and ascent emerged.
This is also true in marriage, parenting, and life in general. For most of us, marriage improved after a crisis, parenting improved after a parenting challenge, and generally, we became better people, often more sensitive and humble, after going through a challenging experience.
That’s how it is; it’s part of the life path of human beings, both as individuals and collectively. Crises force us out of our comfort zones, requiring us to discover inner strengths and abilities and bring them into action. Often, we are also compelled to adopt new habits and different ways of behaving, and all of this together is the recipe for becoming a somewhat better person.
My birthday is on Sunday, the 2nd of Cheshvan. Somehow, it's always around Parshat Noach, and on a birthday, it’s customary to "review"—that is, to learn and share a Chassidic discourse. This is usually done with a melody before and after the discourse, often recited from memory with a distinctive tone unique to Chassidic discourse. I will do this, God willing, this coming Shabbat at the Chabad House in Basel during the time between Mincha and Maariv, known as the “Ra'ava d'Ra'avin” (Google it). But here, I'll share a point from the discourse. So:
"Many waters cannot extinguish the love"—in a Chassidic discourse the Rebbe gave on this verse in connection with Parshat Noach, he explains that the "many waters" refer to the distractions of livelihood. Most of us are preoccupied with making a living, some more, some less. The love is the innate love every Jew has for God, a love that often remains hidden, obscured by many layers, some stemming from these "many waters," the distractions of livelihood. Yet, the Torah in Chassidus tells us, know that these "many waters" cannot truly extinguish the love.
In my words: A Jew might say, "Master of the Universe, I’m overwhelmed, the world and its demands—even if positive—hinder me from being in a state of ‘love for God.’ I fear that soon there will be nothing left; I have become like a machine. There is almost no trace of authentic Torah and mitzvah observance. There is no emotion, no excitement, no warmth, no love in the air. My ‘many waters’ are drowning me.”
The discourse tells you: You are right; there is work to be done. There is room for improvement; there is a need to reflect, change, invest, and be present in Jewish life—to feel, sense, experience, and simply be. And this is hard. But remember one thing: There is no such thing as love being extinguished, because "many waters cannot extinguish the love."
Then the Rebbe adds another layer, affirming that the inner purpose of the "many waters" is not to extinguish but to ignite and rekindle. The "many waters" you experience are here to bring out something in you that you thought you didn’t have. The distractions and trials have the power to make you a better person if you only overcome them. And you will overcome them if you know in the depth of your mind and heart that "many waters cannot extinguish the love."
L'chaim, l'chaim,
And may we be successful,
Shabbat Shalom and Good Chodesh,
Rabbi Zalman Wishedski