Are you a lost case?

Friday, 5 May, 2023 - 5:11 am

Nothing ever is lost. The more you believe and accept the fact that you are not a lost case, that inside you nothing is completely lost, you will see that really there is no such thing as a lost case when it comes to people. 

In my role as a coach, every week I meet people, most of them local ambitious leaders, very busy, and to tell the truth, accomplished and successful. And yet, they come to talk to me on Zoom because they want to improve themselves. 

Some of them come with a specific, focused goal, and together we analyze the challenge and with Hashem’s help find the right way to handle it. 

But there are those who show up with a constant feeling of having missed out on something, and it gives them no rest. They feel that they are not really good, not really doing what’s right. It means getting up in the morning breathing heavily because they feel they are lacking air. 

A person may do wonderful things, but he knows in his heart that he could do a lot more – and not only in his heart does he know this. He can see in a friend’s page or post an example of serious and thorough work. And it hits him anew every time.

A Jew can give his all, but have a primal fear that one day people will discover that it’s not real, that it’s all superficial, and that really there is no true foundation to it all, certainly when compared to what he sees elsewhere, and that can sometimes make him feel he is suffocating.

A person can meet people and give good classes, but when they are over, he knows deep inside himself that he said some nice and pleasant things, but not what he really wanted to say. “I have no one to whom I can relate the depths that exist in this material. I guess the people around me are not up to it.” What a pity. What pain.

A person can come out of an impressive production of his that cost him much money, and was, of course, a success, but his heart is telling him that something here is not good, that it is not what he should have done, and that the people who were really supposed to come, didn’t. He is consumed by loneliness.

And because it has been that way for many years, the person is deeply convinced that nothing will change. “I guess that is who I am. Nothing can be done about it.” People don’t change. This accomplished successful, ambitious and busy person walks around with a broad smile on his face, and an aching heart. He helps everyone and fails to help himself. He is sure that that is impossible. So he gets up every morning anew to a battle, to one more day of doing. He is strong, and he wins the daily battle, but he is completely exhausted emotionally, energetically drained and looking to escape into whatever is most easily available at that moment. 

The first and crucial step in our work together when we meet is to believe that there is no such thing as a lost case. The more you believe that you are not a lost case, that by you, inside you, nothing is truly lost, you will learn that it is possible to correct things. That there is light, and it is worthwhile to search for it. 

Today, the 14th of Iyar, Pesach Sheni, is the holiday of “There is no such thing as a lost case.”

Let’s remember it all the time – not only does nothing get completely lost, but that there is no such thing as a lost case when it comes to people.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Zalmen Wishedski

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